Last Summer I took a series of parenting classes. One was about simplifying. The book Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne was recommended. I went to my library and reserved it. I was on a long waiting list and finally got it. Dr. Payne believes that the behaviors we see in kids are caused by the complexity of the lives they live in. He had a lot of great ideas about simplifying and I felt affirmed that I was doing many of them. I also learned some more things that I can apply. Dr. Payne begins with a chapter called Soul Fever in which he shares the symptoms of an overwhelmed child. Then he moves on to other chapters where he gives solutions. He talks about reducing the amounts of toys and books and organizing what is left. Here is an area that I think I've done well in. The kids don't have a lot of toys and what they do have is kept in boxes high in the closet and they need to ask to get them down. Clothes are also mentioned. Today as we put away our winter clothes and pulled our our summer clothes, I tried to implement some of the author's ideas.
Another area Dr. Payne says we need to simplify is the rhythm of our daily lives. Is it predictable and consistent? He even talks about simplifying food and dinner time. He emphasizes the importance of routines. He also has a section called the Gift of Boredom. Free time has been an important part of our life for awhile. I read somewhere that free time is when real learning occurs. The kids' free time is the same time as my study time. Yes, they still come to me and say they are bored, but I let them figure out how to fill that time on their own.
Dr. Payne's next idea is filtering out the adult world. We can do this with less screen time, by the way we parent (being present but not hovering), avoiding adult topics, and by talking less. I love the idea of talking less. "The more you talk, the less you are listening." We've also been big on minimal screen time. I start seeing bad behavior when the kids get extra amounts of screen time.
I wouldn't have picked this book up on my own, I feel like I've simplified my life without being told how to do it, but I was grateful for the additional ideas.
