8 Minute Meditation--Weeks 1 and 2

So, I started meditating.  It's part of a class I'm taking.  I've never meditated before.  In fact, I've kind of avoided it.  When I do yoga, I skip the meditation section.  Any time it comes up in a cool down from a work out video, I fast forward.  I've never understood it.  I still don't understand it, but I'm giving it a try.

The book for the class is 8 Minute Meditation by Victor Davich.  His idea is to slowly introduce you to meditation.  He says everyone should be able to find 8 minutes a day to meditate.  He helps prepare you for the process and gives all the right instructions.  Too bad his writing style is a little choppy.  He teaches a different technique every week for eight weeks and by the end you should be ready to pick the one that works best for you and move on to longer, deeper meditations. 

I've been journal-ing my experience.

Week 1--Just 1 Breath
During this week my anchor point was my breathing.  Any time I had a thought I noticed it and returned to my anchor point--at least that was supposed to happen. 

Ignore my messy meditating space.  I try to find someplace
quiet.  While on vacation I meditated in the bathroom.

6/25 First time.  Funny--I felt like I was still watching my breathing while my thoughts wondered--two thoughts at once.  My thoughts didn't wander as much as I thought, but that catch and release was great--I was able to quickly return to my breathing.  I did have several thoughts about when it would be over and I wasn't very comfortable--stiff.

6/29  I feel like I'm getting worse--but that's not really fair--roving mind will always be there, but I've been forgetting to release the thought.  One of the hardest things is that I can be aware of my breathing and a thought at the same time. I'm probably equally aware, but as soon as I try to focus on just breathing I get another thought--usually about breathing.  Today I wasn't even wanting to meditate, but I committed to do it every day for 8 minutes for 8 weeks.

Week 2--Naked Sound
My anchor point for this week was sounds, but just hearing the sound--not identifying or judging the sound.

7/2 Camping provides a lot of sounds.  It is hard for me to not identify the sounds--what Pooh character is that?  I found it easier to control my thoughts--focusing on sounds is easier than focusing on breath, but is it calmer?

7/4  It's hard when the only sound is the hum of my ceiling fan and an occasional ac  blowing.   There is no rise, fall with a constant sound.  I like when new sounds come, but I also like to identify them.

7/7 Not all sounds have a rise and fall!  There's got to be another way to focus on the sounds.  I also find it hard not to name the sounds--they are all so familiar that it is automatic.  I thought I would like this one better because I liked the "result" of it.  I can't wait until the next type!

My Winnie-the-Pooh Experience

I've never liked Winnie-the-Pooh.  I always thought he was boring and dumb.  But a new book caused me to see him in a different light.  In The Tao of Pooh, Benjamin Hoff compares characters from  AA Milne's books to explain Taoism.  Here are some things I learned. . .

Simple-minded does not equal stupid. 
The Tao principle of the Uncarved Block means that things in their original simplicity contain natural power, natural beauty, and natural function.  Pooh is the uncarved block.   He is simple-minded (not stupid), he enjoys the simple things in life and he can do things spontaneously.  The concept of the uncarved block brings me back to my questions about peace. Pooh seems to be at peace. Enjoying the simple things and doing things impulsively are what make him that way.

Everything has its own place and function.
Understanding your Inner Nature helps you know where you belong, what you are good at, and your limitations.  It starts with "recognizing who we are, what we've got to work with, and what works best for us."  Pooh shares a rhyme to help explain the principle.

How can you get very far,

If you don't know Who You Are?

How can you do what you ought,

If you don't know What You've Got?

And if you don't know Which To Do

Of all the things in front of you,

Then what you'll have when you are through

Is just a mess without a clue

Of all the best that can come true

If you know What and Which and Who.

Understanding my Inner Nature is difficult for me.  I usually rely on others to tell me who I am.  I've recently had some opportunities that have forced me to do my own looking and I'm learning a lot.  I know who I am, a little about what I've got to work with, and more about what works best for me. 

Not only do I have my Inner Nature, but so does everything else.  "When we learn to work with our own Inner Nature, and with the natural laws operating around us. . .we work with the natural order of things and operate on the principle of minimal effort. . .Tao doesn't force or interfere with things, but lets them work in their own way, to produce results naturally.  Then whatever needs to be done is done."  Sometimes I can do this and sometimes I can't.  I know that there are certain things around the house that need to be done and if I don't do them they don't get done.  But, there are things that I can let "happen."  Like letting the kids fix meals or not stressing about other's responsibilities.  I think there is a fine line, but understanding what things can "happen" can bring peace. 

The key to wisdom, happiness and truth is Nothing.

"An Empty sort of mind is valuable for finding pearls and tails and things because it can see what's in front of it.  An Overstuffed mind is unable to.  While the Clear mind listens to a bird singing, the Stuffed-Full-of-Knowledge-and-Cleverness mind wonders what kind of bird is singing.  The more Stuffed Up it is, the less it can hear through its own ears and see through its own eyes." 

Sometimes I feel like the Stuffed Up one--I hear a bird and wonder what kind; I spout off useless information, but have nothing to back it up with; I need to always be doing.  Instead I should follow the advise of Lao-tse: "To attain knowledge, add things every day.  To attain wisdom, remove things every day."  I was recently complaining about how busy we are, how we always have so much to do.  Maybe I need to remove some things from our schedule. 

Did I learn anything about Taoism from reading this book?  A little.  I think the best explanation came from the forward.  Benjamin Hoff is talking to a colleague trying to convince him that Pooh is one of the "Great Masters of Wisdom" by reading him a section of AA Milne's books.  The unbeliever argues, "That's not about Taoism. . .It's about this dumpy little bear that wanders around asking silly questions, making up songs, and going through all kinds of adventures, without ever accumulating any amount of intellectual knowledge or losing his simpleminded sort of happiness.  That's what it's about."  To which Benjamin Hoff replies, "Same thing."

How Can I Find Peace?

After a recent discussion of Heidi I was given a challenge to apply something that I learned/felt from the book.  A lot of my comments during the discussion were geared toward peace.  Peace is a theme I have been noticing a lot in books lately.  I have been feeling a lack of peace in my home and have been drawn toward the idea of peace.  I enjoyed the peace that Heidi felt on the mountain and wondered how I could feel that same peace in my home.  So for 2 weeks I committed that I would journal peaceful times and non-peaceful times and compare them. 

It was an interesting 2 weeks.  I asked a lot of questions.  I was able to answer some, but am still searching for answers to others. 

How can I find  peace?  Will finding inner peace help me find outer peace?
Part of my plan was to find inner peace in hopes that it would bring about more peaceful situations within my home.  I wondered if I needed to start my day of different.  I downloaded the last General Conference onto my ipod and began listening to talks every morning while getting ready.  I said my prayers differently.  I reviewed some old conference talks about peace and studied peace in the scriptures.  I was reminded that Christ brings peace and that I need to call upon Him in non-peaceful times.

How can I prepare myself to have more peaceful situations?   Does planning equal peace?
I know what types of situations are hard for me and for my kids.  Knowing this helps me prepare them and prepare myself.  When I'm prepared, I'm better able to handle things that come up.  When they are prepared and know what is expected, they are better behaved.  But, what do I do when situations come up that I'm not prepared for?  How can I maintain a calm and peaceful attitude?

Does relaxing equal peace?  Does simplicity equal peace?    
One afternoon the kids and I went to the park.  I brought my book and was able to get a lot of reading done.  The kids played nicely and I enjoyed watching them.  The weather was nice.  I felt at peace.  Some of my favorite times are when we go camping or fishing and we are playing or working or relaxing. 

Another evening I had a very simple dinner with few rules and expectations.  It was a great evening!  The kids were well behaved and had fun.  How can I simplify things to bring more peace? 

How do I find peace when I'm doing something I don't want to be doing? 
There were a few days when I was grumpy because I was doing something I didn't want to be doing or with someone I didn't want to be with.  I tried to make the best of the situation and look for the good in the event or person.  That helped.  I realized that I can't let outside situations control how I am feeling. 

Does enjoying the moment bring peace? 

One afternoon the boys were fishing and the girls were hanging out with me.  We sang songs and talked and looked at things.  It was great.  This was my favorite part of the trip.  I think that enjoying the moment brings peace and being at peace helps you to enjoy more moments. 




Why are there times when I'm not at peace?  Why are some days better than others? 
This was a questions that I asked a lot and I wasn't able to answer.  It probably goes back to that old song "Mama said there'd be days like this, there'd be days like this my mama said."  Life if full of ups and downs, but I can see that when I prepare and try harder and turn to Christ then there are more days that are up.

Our "Pilgrim's Progress"

I actually don't know why I am posting about this book--it was really hard for me to read and I'm not sure how much I got out of it.  My friend and I decided to read it because the story and lessons were such a big part of the March girls' lives in Little Women and we wanted to see what the big deal was. 

The story is written in two parts.  In the first part we meet Christian and watch him as he makes his journey to the Celestial City.  The second part is the story of his wife, Christiana, and their children making the same journey. 

Along the way they meet people who help them and people who hinder them.  They have many adventures and learn a lot.  I compared their journeys to our lives as we go from birth to death.  Some of us have a plan and some of us are living blindly.  Some of us have a great support system and some of us are struggling along on our own.  Some of us have trials while others appear to be living free of them.  Some of us understand the atonement of our Savior and some of us are still waiting to learn. 

I think there were several reasons that Christian and his wife were successful on their journeys.

1.  They both had a goal of where they wanted to go (the Celestial City).  If we know and understand Christ's plan of salvation then we, too, can know our ending goal.

2.  They both had helpers--Christian first had Evangelist to guide him in the right direction and then other friends/helpers on the way.  Christiana had Christian's success to persuade her to make the journey and she also had many friends and helpers.  I see our helpers as our family, friends, church members, missionaries, mentors, and prophets. 

3.  They both had endurance.  Even though Christian and Christiana struggled and had trials on their journeys, they remembered the joys they experienced and their future goal.  I think that if we focus on the good we will be better able to endure. 

4.  They had an understanding of the Atonement.  When Christian first reaches the cross and tomb, his burden is lifted and he is able to continue more easily on his journey.  If we truly understand and apply the redeeming power of Christ's Atonement, we will also continue more easily on our path.

Even though I couldn't keep the characters straight or remember all the adventures or understand all the analogies, I did understand the joy Christian and Christiana had when they arrived at the Celestial City and I hope that one day I can feel that joy. 

From Bad Comes Good

Have you ever read Heidi by Johanna Spyri?  I just did for the first time and wondered why it has taken me so long.  Actually, I tried reading it aloud to the kids several years ago, but was unsuccessful and was hesitant to pick it up again.  I'm glad that I did.  It was a sweet book.  It reminded me a lot of Pollyanna--innocence and happiness. 

Heidi is a young girl who goes to live with her Grandfather on the Alm in Switzerland after her mother and father die.  She falls in love with the beauty of the mountains, the simple life and the people she befriends.  Sadly, after a short time, her aunt takes her away from the mountains to Frankfurt to be a companion for a crippled girl, Klara.  Heidi tries to make the best of the situation, but is heart broken.     

Heidi lives with this family for a couple of years.  She become friends with Klara, learns how to read and about the power of prayer from Klara's grandmamma, and gains the trust of Klara's father and the doctor.  Even with these good things happening, Heidi is homesick for the Alm.  She begins to loose weight and starts sleepwalking.  Finally the doctor realizes what is happening and encourages the father to send Heidi home. 

Heidi is so excited to return to the mountains.  On her return journey she remembers every detail.  I fear that it won't be as she remembers and she'll be disappointed, but my fear is unfounded, for all is the same. 

Shortly after her return, good things start to happen; all as a result of Heidi's time in Frankfurt.  The people from the local village start to see the Grandfather in a new light due to Heidi's return.  Heidi is able to read to and comfort the grandmother (a neighbor on the Alm).  She is also able to teach Peter the goatherd how to read.  Good things continue to happen.  Heidi's friends from Frankfurt visit and help the grandmother and Peter the goatherd with money and food and a new bed.  The fresh mountain air and goat's milk are a miracle cure for Klara and she regains the ability to walk. Heidi realizes that all these good things are happening becuase of her time in Frankfurt and the people that she knew there. 

How many times to we go through trials (bad things) and recieve blessings (good things) as a result?  It reminds me of the scripture found in Ether 12:27: "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."  Often, but not always, the bad things that happen in our lives are becuase of our weaknesses, but, through faith and humility, they can be turned into blessings.  A weakness of mine is that I like to take the easy way out.  If something is too hard, I won't do it or I'll do it as simply as possible.  Recently I've had to step out of that comfort box and force myself to do hard things.  I have yet to see the full blessings from this, but I'm begining to see small changes in myself and in my family.  It's something I need to say everyday--"I CAN DO HARD THINGS!"

Making Changes

The kids and I just finished reading Anne Frank: the Diary of a Young Girl for our homeschool book club.  It wasn't one of my favorite reads, but we certainly learned a lot about what it was like being stuck in a small apartment with another family for 2 years. 

The story (obviously) is told by Anne in journal format.  It begins with her 13th birthday and ends a little over 2 years later.  For most of  the book, Anne, her family and another family are hiding from the Germans in a small annex above an office building.  Throughout the two years, the reader sees a lot of growth in Anne.  Anne starts out as a vain teenager who is only interested in boys, friends, movie stars, and clothing.  By the end of the book, Anne shares deeper feelings of  love, true friendship and hope. 

In one of Anne's last entries, she writes: "I can't imagine how anyone can say: 'I'm weak', and then remain so.  After all, if you know it, why not fight against it, why not try to train your character?"  I thought this was a great question.  Why do people not want to be better?  Why do they think it is OK to remain the same, to remain stagnant?  Anne goes on to write that most people say that it is easier to remain weak.  She disagrees.  She writes that "what appears easy and attractive will drag [one] down into the depths, depths where there is no comfort to be found, no friends and no beauty, depths from which it is almost impossible to raise oneself." 

This made me think of the changes Jonathan and I and several of our friends have made in how we homeschool.  We looked at what we were doing, realized that it was "weak" and have been doing hard work to make the right changes.  We have been pushing ourselves to get a better education, we have changed the learning environment of our home and how we view our kids' education, and we have constantly been striving to be better people.  Has it been easy?  No!  Has it been worth it?  Definitely!  I've already seen growth and I love it.  Thanks to characters like Anne Frank, Pollyanna, Jo March, Bilbo Baggins, Uncle Tom and many others we have learned good values and positive character traits that we try to implement in our own lives. 

Was he a Monster?

Hollywood has taken Dr. Frankenstein’s creation and turned him into a monster.  But is that what he really was?  I think that he was just a person looking for friendship; for someone to look past his physical appearance and see what he was like inside.  Instead he was scorned, and the “mildness of [his] nature had fled, and all with in [him] was turned to gall and bitterness.”

Dr. Frankenstein was fascinated with the “secret of life.”  After discovering this secret, he brings to life an 8 foot monster whom he despises the second it opens its eyes.  Frankenstein runs away and leaves his creation to fend for itself. 

Later in the story we learn from the monster how he, much like a baby, learned to see and distinguish between objects, how he gained knowledge through experience, and how he learned that the way he looked affected how people reacted to him.  He learned how to speak and read by secretly watching a family.  He hoped that he would be able to convince this family to care for him by his acts of service, his ability to communicate and by his admiration of their virtues. 

The monster says that he “was benevolent; [his] soul glowed with love and humanity.”  He enjoyed flowers and birds and summer.  He helped others.  All he wanted was those feelings of kindness to be returned towards him.  Unfortunately no one was able to look past his outside shell. 

The monster starts to have feelings of hatred and revenge and he doesn’t “strive to control them.”  He first takes his anger out on inanimate objects, but that changes after he rescues a young girl from drowning and is shot instead of thanked.  He is “inflamed with pain, [and vows] eternal hatred and vengeance to all mankind.”  He decides to take revenge on his creator and one by one kills all who are dear to Frankenstein. 

The monster’s situation makes me think of the unfortunate kids who are bullied all their lives and can take the pain no longer so they bring guns to school and shoot their classmates.  I also think about the black people during the Civil Rights Movement.  They were treated differently because of the way they looked.  Could these events have been prevented if people were more like Christ and looked on the heart instead of the outward appearance (1 Samuel 16:7)?

At the end of the book, Frankenstein lies dead after chasing his creation to the end of the earth so he could take his own revenge.  He is unsuccessful.  The monster is there and wonders if he is “to be thought the only criminal when all humankind sinned against [him].”  Why does no one hate the family that drove him from their home?  Why do they not loathe the one who sought to destroy his creation?  Instead he, “the miserable, the abandoned, [is] an abortion, to be spurned at, and kicked, and trampled on.”  He suffered his whole life and thinks that his suffering is the best revenge that Frankenstein could have achieved. 

So, no, Frankenstein’s monster wasn’t really a monster.  He was simply a person who reacted to how others treated him.