It's OK to get it WRONG

I like to write notes and post them around the house. Sometimes they are things I need reminded of, sometimes they are motivational, and sometimes they are things I want the kids to learn.

This particular note--it's OK to get it wrong--was written for my kids. It seemed like they were struggling with making mistakes; feeling like they had to get everything right the first time. I wanted them to know that success comes from making mistakes; that it is OK to get it wrong if they chose to learn from that mistake.

One day we had a friend over. As he walked out of the house he added a comment to the note. I don't know why he wrote it. It could have been that  he misunderstood my meaning. It could have been that he disagreed. Or it could have been that he just wanted to argue. He didn't say and I didn't get a chance to ask.

Today I want to give you four reasons why "it's OK to get it wrong".

Reason #1. Mistakes help us learn and gain experience. They can be our biggest teachers if we choose to learn from them. Find out what went wrong and try to fix it.

Henry Ford said, "Failure is the opportunity to begin again, more intelligently."


Reason #2. Failures often lead to successes. Failure is part of the process. Thomas Edison said that he found 10,000 ways that wouldn't work to make a light bulb.

“I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.” ~ Michael Jordan

Reason #3. Mistakes humble us. They remind us we are human and show us areas of weakness. And remind us that weak things can become strengths.

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to success is always to try just one more time.”
~Thomas Edison

Reason #4. Mistakes mean action. It means you are trying. And you are probably doing something outside your comfort zone.

Sara Blakely, the founder of Spanx, tells how her dad would ask her every day, "What have you failed at today?" to encourage her and her brother to try new things and not be afraid of failure.

So, go ahead! Get it wrong. Fail. Learn. Become Better.

Look Unto Me in Every Thought

when we got back

I survived trek! I don't think I've ever smelt so badly though. Or worked so hard. Or depended so much on the Lord.

One phrase of the trek scripture/motto was "Look unto me in every thought." I didn't realize until I got back home how much I "looked unto" my Heavenly Father for help and support.

before we left

Full disclosure. . .I'm not much of a pray-er. I say my prayers every night and most mornings, but I wouldn't say that they are pourings out of my heart. They are mostly a thing to check off before I fall asleep. I've gone through phases where I try to be better at praying but unfortunately they don't last long. There are times where my heart is troubled and I turn to prayer. Or when I feel the need for a constant prayer in my heart.

Trek was one of those time where extra special prayers were needed. As soon as we got our assignment to be a Ma and Pa, I started praying. And I prayed often and hard the whole time we were on trek.

I prayed that we would have good "kids". They were great kids! Never did they complain. They ALL worked hard the whole time. They got along well and watched out for each other. Most of them were there because they wanted to be. For one morning devotional I asked each kid to say why they were there on trek. One said his mom made him, another said he was bored, but the rest said that they had older siblings/cousins/friends who had gone before and came home raving about the experience. Those kids hoped for a similar experience.

I prayed that our "family" would be open to inspiration and that we could be a resource/channel for that inspiration. Even though family time and company time didn't go as I envisioned, we did have a few opportunities to share scriptures and experiences, partake in devotionals, and ponder on the lives of the pioneers.

crossing the river
several of the boys carried the girls across 

I prayed that we would have the energy and the right attitude to push/pull the handcarts on little sleep and little food. We arrived at the starting point and started hiking around 5:30 PM. Not very far into our hike, "Indians" raided the carts and stole our snack bags. Dinner that night was a bowl of broth and a roll. Everyone went to bed tired and hungry. The Mas and Pas knew that the next morning we would be awoken EARLY by an angry mob. We needed all the energy and good attitude we could get.

I prayed for strength. The last day was the women's pull. We all knew it was coming. I woke up anxious that morning even though I knew that we could do it. I'd seen how hard the girls in my "family" worked. I was confident that we would be able to accomplish the task, but I was nervous. Actually I was an emotional wreck. From the moment I saw my son lined up with the Mormon Battalion to the time we pushed off on our own, I cried. I can't put into words the emotions that were in my heart. The emotions are all coming back, and, as I write, I'm fighting back the tears. I feared for my son. I  missed my husband and his strength. I felt the support of angels who had experienced this before us. The ancestor that I walked for had a paralyzed husband and only one son old enough to be a help to her, but also old enough to join the Battalion. She didn't want him to go and leave her to do the work of crossing the plains by herself. After a dream, though, she knew that he needed to go and that she would be protected. As I watched the men leave, I remembered that story and was comforted to know that her spirit would be with us. I also know that our men were praying for us. At one point I heard singing and knew that they were singing for us. We rounded a bend and could see them across the way. Their singing warmed my heart. I knew they were singing for us to give us strength. The push was hard. We had to work together and communicate with each other to be able to make it up and down the big hills. It felt so good at the end to know that we'd made it.

doubt "knot", fear "knot"

Lastly, I prayed with gratitude. Gratitude for a shower and a warm, soft bed. Gratitude for a good experience. Gratitude for a good "family". And gratitude for a Heavenly Father who sent us to Earth to prepare ourselves to see Him again. I learned that I can look unto Him in every thought. 

Saying Yes Instead of No

Have you ever been asked to do something and said yes even though you wanted to say no?

Don't lie.

I do it all the time.

And I bet you do to, too.

There is an obligation sometimes to say yes. To callings in church. To friends in need. To opportunities to serve. Don't get me wrong. Sometimes we need to say yes even when we want to say no. These are opportunities to grow. Or opportunities to serve and think about others' needs. But sometimes we only say yes because we feel like we "should".

Well, I recently listened to a podcast that gave me permission to say no. Or to at least say yes with a "I'll do it because you want me to and I care for you not because I want to" added.

I was able to apply this new knowledge recently.

Our stake is doing a pioneer trek this summer. Actually it's tomorrow. I have negative feelings toward trek and for years hoped that our stake would never participate. Or at least not when my kids were old enough to attend. My reasons were super silly. . .I didn't want to have to gather/make the period clothing they would need to participate. The idea of sewing freaked me out! I know that is a dumb reason, but it was enough to make me (kind of) wish that my kids would not want to attend. No such luck. As soon as it was announced, Braedi and Corbin were excited and wouldn't let me talk them out of it. (I didn't really talk them out of it. I'd heard enough good stories about experiences that I knew it would be good for them and they would enjoy it. But, ugh! the clothes!)

In the end, the clothes issue turned out to not be that big of a deal. With 50% off days at discount stores and borrowing from friends, we found everything we needed. Turns out packing all our supplies into a 5 gallon bucket is the tough part.

Now to the part where I said yes when I wanted to say no.

About a month ago, a member of the stake presidency asked Jonathan and I to be a Ma and Pa for trek. I actually told him no at first. I told him I didn't want to go. Somehow he convinced me that we would be a great Ma and Pa. Jonathan had to figure out if he could get the time off work and while we waited I crossed my fingers in hopes that he wouldn't get the time off. After about a week or two of figuring stuff out we said yes. I don't think Jonathan was as hesitant as me. Last time trek came around he was serving with the Young Men and asked to go, but wasn't able to.

I wasn't excited and it showed in my attitude. We were behind schedule because we were asked with only 17 days to prepare. But at the last training, I began listening to the trek leaders talk about the purpose behind trek and my heart started softening. I heard them say that we were called not because we would be able to prepare well, but because we had ALREADY prepared. The spirit testified to me that saying yes was the right decision. I began praying for my unknown trek "family" and for Jonathan and I. I begged and pleaded that we would be able to provide a good experience and be open to inspiration and to know how to reach these kids.

I no longer dread the idea of going on trek. I'm not excited either, but I've put it in the Lord's hands and trust that all will be OK.

Next week I'll let you know how it went. . .

Getting to Know Me

Well, it's Wednesday. And Wednesday is the day I committed to write. It has been a crazy week, so today's post is going to be a simple get to know you. Actually it will be you getting to know me. But feel free to comment so I can get to know you. 

▪️First job: Arby's restaurant--loved the curly fries!
▪️Dream job: I miss being in the classroom, but I don't want to go back to teaching; especially in a public school. Maybe when the kids are all grown I can find a master teacher and volunteer in her/his classroom.
▪️Favorite pizza: my memory of the best pizza is from Sardella's, but I have no idea if they are any good or if that is just a memory. I like Domino's pizza, but it's not something I can eat any more. Jonathan makes a good fathead pizza. 
▪️Favorite foot attire: cute sandals.
▪️Kids: I have 5. Girl 16, boy 14, girl 13, boy 11, girl 9. My oldest was 6 when my youngest was born--5 in 6 years. I love how close in age they are. They are each other's best friends. 
▪️Favorite roller coaster: I haven't been on a roller coaster for probably 16 years, but I love them. I just can't get anyone in my family to ride one with me. 
▪️Favorite candy: Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and Licorice Nibs. YUM!
▪️Favorite ice cream: not chocolate!
▪️Pet peeve: being late and disrespect.
▪️Favorite Holiday: Thanksgiving. Probably because I like the food. And I enjoy the relaxed time with family.
▪️Night owl or early bird: early bird. I get that from my dad.
▪️Favorite family vacation: The cruise we took last year. The best part was how excited the kids were. 
▪️Number of tattoos: none. I can't think of anything I would want permanently on my body.
▪️Like to cook? not really. I do it because I like to eat. 
▪️Can you drive a stick shift? No. I learned once, but we sold the car after my first lesson and I never got to practice again. 
▪️Favorite color: red.
▪️Do you like vegetables? yes. And I'm liking some that I never liked as a kid--cauliflower, peppers, asparagus, and more.
▪️Do you wear glasses? No, but it's probably time to get my eyes checked. 
▪️Favorite season: Arizona doesn't really have seasons, but I like every "real" season for their own reasons. Summer because of the green grass and being able to hang out outside late into the night. Fall because of the beautiful colors and the crunch leaves and the chill in the air. Winter because of the way the snow looks as it falls at night. Spring because of the flowers and the warmer weather. 
▪️Dream car: anything red and shiny.
▪️Favorite movie: Princess Bride
▪️Favorite thing to do: read. 
▪️Married? Yes. We'll celebrate our 16th anniversary in October.
▪️Favorite thing to do together? travel. We've been to some fun places. 
▪️Skill you wish you had: I wish I knew how to decorate and along with that I wish I could build things--find stuff on the side of the road and turn it into something cool.
▪️Skill you currently have: I make a great loaf of bread.

Have a great week!

To Meditate or Not

I’ve never been a big fan of meditation. I just don’t get it! How does sitting  around trying not to think help bring peace and serenity? You might be asking, “Have you ever tried it?!?! You can’t knock it unless you’ve tried it.” Well, I have tried it. A few years ago I took a summer class and one of the books was 8 Minute Meditation. The book taught the reader how to meditate in simple steps and in short amounts of time. I tried every step and even blogged about my experience. After that experience I’ve never meditated again.

Until now.

I’m the kind of person that listens to signs that the universe sends. I listened to a podcast that talked about the awareness meditation brings. I argued with her. Soon after, I watched a video that talked about mindfulness and meditation in education. Two days later I read in a book about the importance of meditation. Hmmm. The next week I heard about it again. Twice. Maybe the universe was trying to tell me something. I decided I needed to look into it. So, like any mom, when I decide I need to make a change, I include the kids. I told them I needed to start meditating so they were going to learn how to do it with me.

We started with the definition I heard on a podcast—“Meditation isn’t about stopping your thought processes. It’s being able to focus on a target.” You pick a target to focus on—your breath, a mantra, your body, etc. When your mind wanders, and it will, notice it but don’t judge, just bring it back to your anchor. Meditation is the art of noticing that your mind has wandered and bringing it back to your focus. So for two minutes every morning we meditated, trying to non-judgmentally bring our thoughts back to our anchors. I said we would try it for a week.

One week went by and I wanted to quit. I didn’t feel like it was doing anything. But, because I had shared my reasons for wanting to meditate, Braedi would not let me quit. Plus I heard ANOTHER podcast about a meditation success story so I had to keep trying. But, we need to try something different.

Have you heard about Headspace? It was another one of those things that I’d heard several different times in different ways. It’s a cool app that teaches you to meditate. This guy with an awesome accent walks you through the process of how to meditate. It’s very peaceful. We’ve been using it for 5 days (it keeps track for you). I feel peaceful afterward, but I can’t say that it’s carried over to any other part of my day. But we are going to keep trying and hopefully we will see some of the benefits. Soon.

Catalyst for Change

I don't often set new year's resolutions, but I did this year after seeing a cool "bullet journal" goal setting post. Like most people and resolutions, I haven't been very good at consistently working on my goals. It doesn't really bother me, but for some reason the goal I set to write has been nagging me all year. I know that writing will be an important part of my mission, but it's one of my least favorite things to do and I wasn't sure how I should accomplish this goal. I finally decided to DO something so I committed to writing a blog post once a week.

I just finished reading "The Freedom Writers Diary" aloud to my kids. I'm not recommending it--there were a lot of graphic scenes and foul language, but the message was good-- tolerance. It was a very eye opening book for us. We had no idea that people lived like the kids in the book; that people judge and hurt others all because of the color of their skin. It was shocking and heartbreaking.

A few things we learned from the book:
1. Good teachers know how to inspire.
2. There are a lot of hurting people in the world.
3. There is power in reading a good book and asking how it applies to you.
4. Other people are going through/have gone through the same thing that you are going through. You are not alone in your suffering.
5. Change/breaking a cycle is possible.
6. Not everyone wants a better life.
7. But some people do and are willing to help you.
8. Writing can change you and those around you.
9. Having a support group and good association can help you as you change.
10. Don't judge others.

The last paragraph of the book compared the book to a relay race. The first lap was Anne Frank, the second was Zlata Filipovic who was inspired  by Anne Frank. The third lap were the diaries which were inspired by Anne Frank and Zlata Filipovic. And the fourth lap is the reader. The writer's hope is that the reader will "pick up a pen and be a catalyst for change." Maybe that is why I feel a call to write?

Book Goal

My goal last year was to read a book a week, and I used this blog to keep track of them.  Even though I stopped blogging about the books I read, I surpassed my reading goal.  Life has been super busy and blogging has been pretty low on my list of things to do.  But, I still want to give mention to some of the great books I have read. 

I borrowed "Honey for Child's Heart" from a friend and really enjoyed it.  Gladys Hunt writes about the importance of books and shares some of her favorite experiences with books.  She brought back so many memories of great books that I've loved and reminded me why I share books with my kids.






"Parenting With Love" is another great, borrowed book.  I love reading books about parenting--I recognized that there is always room for growth in that area.  The biggest thing I got from this  book was that I need to praise more.  Glenn Latham has a whole chapter dedicated to praising.  It is an area that I struggle with and strive every day to focus on the good. 



My 5th grade teacher read "Johnny Tremain" aloud to us and I remember loving the book and wanted to share it with my kids.  I hoped that they would pick it up and read it on their own, but that didn't happen.  A lot of the books I choose to read aloud are books that I want my kids to be exposed to but are ones they won't pick up on their own.  More often than not they love the book and will read it again on their own later.  This book fit right in with the Key of Liberty class I am mentoring and Braedi is taking.  It takes place during the Revolutionary War and we get see some of what did happen and might have happened in Boston. 

"Hans Brinker" or "The Silver Skates" is a book I've never read, but I remember from my childhood.  It takes place in Holland where my dad served his mission.  He might have read it to my siblings and I or told the story, but I don't remember anything but the name.  I ( and I hope my kids did, too) loved the story even though Mary Mapes Dodge gets a little wordy with her descriptions of Holland's history. 


I've continued to listen to audio books on my ipod in short increments.  I listened to the Maze Runner series, which consists of "The Maze Runner", "The Scorch Trials" and "The Death Cure".  A fun, fluff series about a post apocalyptic time where a group of kids is put through a series of trials to help find a cure for a  horrible disease. 





The Bloody Jacky series is another great audio to listen to.  The reader is fantastic!  I enjoyed her so much that one time when I couldn't find the audio at the library I bought it on audible instead because I couldn't stand reading it without her voices.  It is a bunch of adventure stories about a girl pirate.  I just noticed that the next book is out and I'm going to have to find an audio.  Lots of fun!


I've also been reading all the books that the kids have been reading for their classes at our commonwealth school.  Dyllan and I read the whole Samantha American Girl series.  For the longest time I was against that series, but I was basing my opinion on someone else's.  Just goes to show that I need to get my own opinion, because it was a cute series and I learned a lot from reading the books. 




Corbin's class is based around World War II so along with The Narnia series (which I am not rereading, but he his) we have been reading other books about the war.  We read "The Art of Keeping Cool" about a German artist who comes to America to escape persecution only to get persecuted here.  We also read "The Amazing Story of Aldophus Tips" about a girl in England and how the ward affected her family. 



Braedi and I read several books to help us understand the American Revolution and it's heroes better.  We read "The Red Scarf Girl" to show what life is like without liberty and freedom.  We read "The Landing of the Pilgrims" to get a vision of the first Americans.  We read "John Adams, the Reluctant Patriot of the Revolution" and "Meet George Washington" to learn about 2 of the great men of that time period.  I have been doing a lot of reading to prepare myself for this class, but only in spurts.  I hope to finish some of the books I have started over the next few months. 

There might be more books that I have read on my own or aloud, but I don't remember.  What have you been reading lately?